Standing in front of my mirror.
Saying : Smile ..
Reaction : I’m smile.
Saying : Smile ,, Be Happy ..
Reaction : ……
Wait .. i’m looking to my self saying smile and i’m actually crying.
You don’t know how much painful ..
how much too pain ful to write about.
How painful to looking to your self when you trying to be smiling and you can’t.
How painful to look at yourself and you underestimate yourself.
Do I deserve it .. Do I deserve what is happening ..
Believe me, I tried ..
I tried to forget ..
I tried to busy ..
I tried to get out of it ..
But I can’t.
There is no Words ..
Just a feeling.
I want him to continue to exist .. And
At the same time
I want him to disappear ..
I want to be Fine .. really i want.